About the author

Jennifer K Bauer

Jennifer K. Bauer has interviewed sword swallowers, saddle makers and even Arnold Schwarzenegger. She is the editor of Inland 360, a weekly culture magazine for north Idaho and eastern Washington that prints in the Lewiston Tribune and Moscow-Pullman Daily News. Contact her at jkbauer@inland360.com or (208) 848-2263.

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  1. Debra Allen

    It was another reindeer … and that reindeer was none other than Rudolph, with his nose not so bright because it was completely covered with spider webs. As Richard flew closer he could see that Rudolph’s whole body was stuck in a giant web. Much to Richards wondering deer eyes he saw a huge spider the size of a dinner plate heading straight for Rudolph…it was a goliath bird-eating tarantula. (Richard knew this because he had learned it in reindeer school and this species of spider is native to South America). Richard quickly used his sharp ears to cut away the spider web and free Rudolph. “Thanks, now be quick and follow me, we’ve got to save Santa and the rest of the reindeer team!” said Rudolph. The two reindeer flew deeper into the Amazon jungle, avoiding the maze of sticky spider webs and found Santa and his reindeer all stuck in giant webs, with hungry looking spiders creeping in for their dinner. Richard went straight to work flipping his sharp ears this way and that way and in the wink of an eye Santa, his sleight full of presents and all the reindeer were free from the sticky webs. The bird-eating spiders all started to cry and looked sad, not mad. “Whatever is the problem?” asked Santa, Are you sad you just lost your Christmas feast? “No, said the biggest of the giant spiders. “We are sad because we spiders never get Christmas and Santa has never came to us.” We weren’t going to eat you, we were going to help you get out of our sticky webs and hope you would give our spider children some presents.” Since we all know Santa loves to spread Christmas cheer and bring gifts to all the good girls and boys (and in this situation, good little spiders) Santa dug deep into his sack of presents and found gifts for all the spider children and their families. Now every year as Santa and his reindeer fly over South American delivering Christmas goodies, Richard the Sharp eared reindeer is sure to be in the reindeer crew so he can cut Santa out of any sticky situations.
    From Debbie Allen
    3227-6th St. D Lewiston, ID 83501

  2. Wayne Gash

    …, Dr. Richard Sharpe, the cross-dressing reindeer, who shot his estranged wife, Karen, to death while her brother and others looked on, allegedly, because she hid her birth control pills from him which he used in an attempt to enlarge his breasts, which failed, as did his attempt to hire a hitman to kill the prosecutor in his murder trial, and although he was acquitted of that charge, he was convicted of killing his wife because, according to said prosecutor, he was angry over the prospect of losing $3 million in their divorce, and of course her hidden birth control pills, which he never found even after he murdered her, which led to his eventual demise, allegedly at his own hand or rather hands, by tying a bedsheet to his top bunk in his cell at MCI-Norfold prison, according to a Massachusetts Department of Correction spokeswoman, but not according to his appeals attorney who declared there was no indication Richard, (the cross-dressing one), was despondent, but at that point it was neither here nor there, because he was most certainly dead, all of which Santa explained to Richard, (the sharp-eared reindeer, of course, not the dead, cross-dressing reindeer), so the live-Richard reindeer, quite mistakenly, plunged into the penetrable wilderness of the Amazon, thereby missing Santa in the impenetrable wilderness of the Amazon, which was his most serious, and last, mistake, because the impenetrable Amazon works both ways, you can’t get in, and you can’t get out, which Richard would have realized if his brain was half as sharp as his ears, but alas Santa’s cries were in vain as Santa, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, (aka Dunder), Blitzen, Rudolph and, never to be heard from, or of again, Richard, the sharp-eared reindeer, all died in Bolivia, as did Butch Cassidy and the Sun Dance Kid.

    Source: CBS/AP, January 6, 2009 “Richard Sharpe Cross-Dressing Wife Killer Found Hanged” and Peter Pan Records, 1997, “Richard the Sharp-Eared Reindeer”h


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