Really, responsibility and adulthood is overrated in so many ways. But it’s still nice to know you’ve reached some sort of higher status in life. So here’s how to know you are adulting like a pro.
1. You’d rather stay home in your pajamas all weekend instead of day drinking and living it up until 4 a.m.
2. The thought of getting a new kitchen appliance makes you more giddy than a 13-year-old at a One Direction concert.
3. Daylong movie marathons aren’t nearly as fun as they used to be.
4. A favorite song from your childhood shows up on the “classic hits” station.
5. You are legitimately excited to hand out business cards.
6. You eat ice cream for dinner because you can – and then deeply regret that decision two hours later.
7. You actually bend down to pick up the ice cube you’ve dropped instead of pushing it under the fridge with your foot. (This one might just be me.)
8. Paying less than $2 a gallon for gas feels the exact same as winning the lottery.
9. A “shopping spree” consists of spending five hours and $40 at your local second-hand store.
10. You realize you know exactly what the phrases “deductible,” “co-pay,” “monthly premium,” and “out-of-pocket” mean.
11. Paying to have your car detailed is more thrilling than Christmas.
12. You consider staying in a hotel in a city a few hours away to be a “vacation.”
13. Speaking of vacations, you have a job where you actually have vacation days.
14. Getting only a few hours of sleep means you feel as bad the next day as that one time you got blackout drunk on tequila and whisky shots.
15. You buy generic brands.
16. You do your own taxes.
17. Your resume items are actually relevant to your career. Finally, you can leave off your time as “grill master” at McDonald’s.
18. You’ve pined for your mother while laying sick in bed. Being forced to make your own chicken noodle soup is the cruelest of injustices.
19. You know what your credit score is and actually check it once a year – although you still have zero clue how they determine what your score should be.
20. You suffer from semi-regular back or joint pain.
21. You appreciate the true value in a decent nap.
22. A good bottle of wine is more precious than gold.
23. You have a Costco card.
24. Every year you wear a Christmas sweater with reindeer on it. Or possibly a snowman. And you do so unironically.
25. You find teenagers appalling and have referred to them as “youths” or uttered the words “kids these days.”
Have an idea for a listicle you’d like to see? Get in touch. Moroney may be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org or at (208) 848-2232