Reviewed by ROGER MOORE, of McClatchy Newspapers
Yeah, Happy Valentines Day, Mother Russia.
But is it A Good Day to Die Hard, a good time to be had by all as Bruce Willis takes his fifth shot at shootin all the scumbags?
Naaah.
Loud and tedious, Die Hard 5 is a shaky-cam/Sensurround blast of bullets and bombs, digital explosions and death defying feats of defying death.
Not a decent villain or catchphrase in it, its an attempt to CIA-up the New York-cop-takes-on-the-worlds-terrorists franchise. And it doesnt work.
Director John Moore (Behind Enemy Lines) spends an endless opening filled with no-names speaking Russian and laying out an elaborate scheme to nab/ kill or release a rich political prisoner (Sebastian Koch). Moore gave his cinematographer a Steadicam and a case of Red Bull, and shot the whole thing with a jittery frame that doesnt mask how dull the action beats are, and how REALLY dull the chatty father-son bonding scenes in-between the action beats are.
John McClane (Bruce Willis) is in Moscow to check up on a son (Jai Courtney of Spartacus) whos in jail. Turns out the estranged son is CIA, and hes on a mission. And Dad, whos on vacation, is interfering. Or saving the day, depending on your point of view.
The kid calls the old man by his first name.
John? Whatever happened to Dad?
Yeah, whatever happened to him?
They dont get along.
Need a hug?
Were not really a hugging family.
They crash through an epic Moscow traffic jam which Moore & Co. shoot and edit into a jumble of crushed cars and feeble wisecracks from the villains Boy, dis guy iz really gettink on my nerves.
They get into fights with helicopters. In the middle of the city. Not that local law enforcement notices.
And its all in pursuit of some mysterious file, which the prisoner theyre trying to slip out of the country has. Or doesnt.
Vast arsenals turn up, at their convenience. Unlimited supplies of lead are exchanged with legions of evil minions.
With Red Dawn remade, badly, and Stallone and Schwarzenegger stinking up cinemas in the weeks leading up to this, you kind of hoped the last 80s action star to take his shot could conjure up a little of the old magic.
Willis, sad to say, doesnt.
For 25 years, its generally been A Good Day to Die Hard. But these last two films have neutered the franchise and wrecked any hopes that Bruce as McClane might be Bourne again. The guy can still take a licking still pull those shards of glass out after every death- and physics-defying stunt. But the character is weary, and the Im on vacation line is played out. McClane needs to trot out Im retired from here on out.